Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
