are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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