Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
