i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
