So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I wish i was in the wii world.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
