he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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