ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
