Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Panties = found
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