super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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