A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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