LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
