I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
