so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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