What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
