How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
