....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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