Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
