His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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