I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
