How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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