remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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