I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
