i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
