I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
