i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize