Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
