yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
