its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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