Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
