the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
