brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
