In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
