he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
