We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize