she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
