Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
