dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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