you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
