My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
