I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
