how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
