VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
