you guys were way drunker than both of me
It's just like the Real World with babies
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
