So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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