Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
