theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
