so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
