You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
