How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
