He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am spending my child support on dildos
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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