You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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