if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
