I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
