Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Screwed.edu
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
