Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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