I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
