On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
