he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
