I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
