Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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