what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
