I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
