Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
