Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
