I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
