Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
