yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
