yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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