it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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