then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
