I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
