I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
