But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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