marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
