you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
