dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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