Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
