I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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