I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
