called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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