I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
