i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize