i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
