she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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