playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
