Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
